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‘Everything about her is perfect… except for one thing’


“I recently met this girl on Hinge [a dating app], and needless to say, she’s just about the best person I’ve ever met on there,” Martin shared on Reddit.

“I actually feel like I can talk to her, and she cares about what I say. We have similar ideals and values, and both really want to start a family.”

Martin feels really guilty for saying this, but there’s one thing that is making him feel hesitant about his new romantic connection.

“She’s not exactly the most… fit person,” Martin said. “She’s pretty and, frankly, I think would be beautiful if she lost about 150lbs [just over 10 stone].”

Having recently dropped 100lbs himself, Martin now fears he “might not be attracted to her” because of her weight.

“I’m not particularly unattractive,” Martin said about himself. “I just have a nagging scariness that I might not be attracted to her, which I feel is an extremely petty thing to say.”

He insisted: “To be clear, I never would give her the ultimatum to ‘either lose weight or I leave’.”

Martin asked the Reddit community: “Would [her weight] be a reasonable deal breaker for you?”

While certain users of the social forum protested that he would have seen what she looks like on the app before meeting up in the first place, Martin hit back.

“Most of her pictures were from a time when she was thinner,” Martin insisted. “So I wasn’t aware of the extent of the situation.”

Admitting he feels an emotional connection, he’s not sure if his romantic feelings for her will progress. “That’s what has me so conflicted,” he said.

In response to his query, Fluffy_assasins said: “Would you want to be with someone who didn’t like a part of you? She doesn’t want this kind of relationship. No one does. Move on.”

FolkloreLover22 emphasised: “Don’t date people you are not attracted to.”

The SaltRose stated: “Then you aren’t interested in her as a person. Take her as she is or let her go.”

In agreement, FatSadHappy said: “This is the same if a girl said, ‘I like a guy if he would earn 50k more’ or ‘I like a guy if he would be four inches taller’.

“She is who she is. She knows her weight and if she keeps it – she has a reason for it. So either like her as a package now or move on.”

Beea91 wrote: “You like what you like. Physical attraction can’t be forced. If you’re not attracted, then you’re not.

“Mental and emotional attraction can definitely be built upon and sometimes once you’re so emotionally invested in a person, you can get used to the way a person looks. But if they’re not attractive to you, then they’re not.”

*Name has been changed.

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